About the show: Dave Pickering takes us on a personal journey through gender as he tries to explain masculinity both to you and to himself. Part true storytelling, part TED talk and part apology, the show looks at how the patriarchy hurts men too; how the patriarchy has hurt him, and how he has hurt people because of patriarchy. Drawing on an anonymous survey of 1000 men, feminist theory, internet memes and his life experience, Dave will explain the conclusions he Read More ...
Does patriarchy exist?
How would you define patriarchy?
A society and/or sociopolitical system ruled primarily or entirely by men.
How has patriarchy hurt you?
I don’t think it’s hurt me specifically, but it’s hurt me by proxy through how it’s damaged and disenfranchised the women in my life. My girlfriend thinks she’s too fat, when she’s absolutely not. I have several female friends who have been raped and nothing has been done about it. I saw my mother struggle to achieve professional goals a man with her knowledge, skills and experience would breeze through. It hurts me by seeing these women I love get pushed back and hurt and ignored.
How have you hurt people in a way influenced by patriachy?
I hope I haven’t. I try to be as honest and decent as possible to everyone. Maybe when I was a boy or a teenager things may have happened that meant I was directly advantaged through patriarchy. Nothing specific or major comes to mind.
How would you define masculinity?
Being a man! For me that’s drinking lager, snorting cocaine, watching the football, listening to loud rock music, admiring beautiful women, having a laugh and a banter with my friends, eating good food, and always having a sharp suit and a leather jacket on standby. But that’s my hetero normative definition of being a man. Some men feel manly by having tea parties with their daughters, by dressing up in women’s clothes, by having sex with another guy. That’s all masculine too. For me, being a man is about being yourself. It’s about being honest and good to everyone you encounter, and using your strength, logic and understanding to help the world be a better place, however little you contribute.
Does misandry exist?
Of course it does. I’ve seen it with my own eyes. “All men are bastards” has literally come out of the mouths of several women I know. I know a girl who said she once made her boyfriend apologise for having a penis. Yeah. Obviously it’s not as commonplace as misogyny, and not nearly as destructive, but it clearly exists.
Have you experienced gender and/or sex related prejudice?
Too many times to recount, and sometimes in a negative way. Mostly it’s been advantageous to me. But I have been disadvantaged in several situations by virtue of being a man. It cuts both ways. Again, it’s not nearly as bad for me as it is for women, but it exists all the same.
What best describes you?