About the show: Dave Pickering takes us on a personal journey through gender as he tries to explain masculinity both to you and to himself. Part true storytelling, part TED talk and part apology, the show looks at how the patriarchy hurts men too; how the patriarchy has hurt him, and how he has hurt people because of patriarchy. Drawing on an anonymous survey of 1000 men, feminist theory, internet memes and his life experience, Dave will explain the conclusions he Read More ...
Does patriarchy exist?
How would you define patriarchy?
A system all surviving peoples and civilisations have adopted that entirely depends on mutual sacrifice and collaboration between men and women but places men at the head of the household. It’s aim is to guarantee paternity, to ensure men are incentivised and children are provided for. It’s not perfect and many people, both women and men, have suffered because of it, but we have yet to find better way. Absolute equality is a pipe dream because men and women, while identical in the main, are still fundamentally different.
How has patriarchy hurt you?
people are less sympathetic to me than perhaps than they are to women. I have had serious emotional issues in the past that I have had to deal with on my own. I have put women before myself and lost a lot of money and become sick as a result. I have been assaulted in the street (by both men and women). I have been coerced into sex (how I lost my virginity). I’ve spent a lot of time alone. But I feel I’m stronger for it. I’m proud of the man I’ve become. I’ve learned to be resilient. A lot of men don’t make it though and they’re not being looked after.
How have you hurt people in a way influenced by patriachy?
I’m not sure if patriarchy or just character flaws, but I’ve been careless with people’s feelings (usually other men). I can be unsympathetic, judgemental, stubborn, arrogant. I’ve never been violent, especially against women, because my mother (the evil patriarch) taught me not to.
How would you define masculinity?
Strength, honour, courage. These are not exclusively masculine traits (and they can be expressed in many different ways), much like feminine traits are not exclusive to women, however they are traits all men should aspire to.
Does misandry exist?
95% of the homeless are men. It’s not because we like the outdoors. Vulnerable men are treated with contempt.
Have you experienced gender and/or sex related prejudice?
i have experienced violence that I wouldn’t have if I were a woman. I work in a female-dominated industry and am not privy to certain girl-only gatherings (e.g. baby showers) where perhaps I might be missing out professionally
What best describes you?
None of the above
I’m an anti-feminist. While the vast majority of feminists are reasonable, I think the movement has been usurped by women who hate men, while claiming it’s about equality. Even this survey, which is meant to look like it for our benefit, will be used to further denigrate men. When feminists start campaigning for DV shelters for men (40% of victims are men, look it up in the ONS), when they start campaigning for equal sentences for equal crimes, then I will believe it’s about equality and I will proudly call myself a feminist.