About the show: Dave Pickering takes us on a personal journey through gender as he tries to explain masculinity both to you and to himself. Part true storytelling, part TED talk and part apology, the show looks at how the patriarchy hurts men too; how the patriarchy has hurt him, and how he has hurt people because of patriarchy. Drawing on an anonymous survey of 1000 men, feminist theory, internet memes and his life experience, Dave will explain the conclusions he Read More ...
Does patriarchy exist?
How would you define patriarchy?
A situation whereby, thanks to many years of sexism being a central part of human society, it is far easier for (predominantly straight and white) men to assume positions of power and often work for the benefit others in a similar privileged position. Because this has always been the way, it becomes accepted by society as the norm, thus perpetuating the problem.
How has patriarchy hurt you?
My dad has fairly traditional views when it comes to the way a household works: i.e. he goes out and brings in the money and my mum does all the work in the house. This has often led to my mum being under huge amounts of stress and my dad getting annoyed with her for not doing things or struggling to do things while he himself does very little. This has had two main negative effects on me. It has made my relationship with my dad at times very strained and has, in the past, made me feel quite ineffectual and useless, as I have never found a way to effectively reduce this behaviour or make him see the impacts of it. I believe this to be one of the contributing factors to a bout of depression that I suffered in my late teens.
How have you hurt people in a way influenced by patriachy?
If I have, and I’m fairly sure i must have during some of my more unthinking times, nobody has called me out on it so I am unable to recall. I did once, when I must have been in my early teens, refer to the title of Ms (as opposed to Miss or Mrs) as “used by women who aren’t married but don’t want people to know that they aren’t”, which wasn’t exactly my finest hour…
How would you define masculinity?
A constructed ideal of what it is felt that a man should be based on what is considered to be ‘normal’ at a particular time. It is most often used, it feels like, to denigrate and separate those who do not conform.
Does misandry exist?
Obviously it exists in small numbers of people, but it isn’t in any way the huge societal problem that misogyny is.
Have you experienced gender and/or sex related prejudice?
Not directly that I can think of, but many of my female friends and relatives have pretty appalling stories.
What best describes you?