About the show: Dave Pickering takes us on a personal journey through gender as he tries to explain masculinity both to you and to himself. Part true storytelling, part TED talk and part apology, the show looks at how the patriarchy hurts men too; how the patriarchy has hurt him, and how he has hurt people because of patriarchy. Drawing on an anonymous survey of 1000 men, feminist theory, internet memes and his life experience, Dave will explain the conclusions he Read More ...
Does patriarchy exist?
How would you define patriarchy?
phallocentric gender system, which favours men over women. But also confines men and women alike to gender norms which oppress all genders. It is also a value system whereby the rational, logical, active, dominating, leadership, violent, strong (things associated with masculine) are given greater value and reward in society. (i.e women can succeed under patriarchy if they follow this value system, i.e Margaret thatcher is not a feminist hero, she is in a way a patriarch) .
How has patriarchy hurt you?
gender norms are very restrictive, although if I ‘pass’ I do accept privileges, but I am only valued as a ‘real man’ if I am competitive, dominant, strong, part of the boys club and if I have the physical attributes to match.. if I do not I am seen as a loser, or somehow castrated, beta, less than.. also if I don’t pass I can be more vulnerable to physical assaults. There is a lot of pressure on me to be a provider and succeed, a man that doesn’t do this is seen as weak. I am in no way saying its equal to what women go through, but is there none the less.
How have you hurt people in a way influenced by patriachy?
I am sure I have in numerous subtle and less subtle ways, I have objectified women for sure, I have listened to men over women at times, I have lost patience with some behaviors that are associated with femininity, I have taken more control with certain jobs/chores and responsibilities that I could have shared (or skill shared) more with women in my life, and visa versa.. (let women take more control of other responsibilities), not excessively but its happened!
How would you define masculinity?
I don’t believe in masculinity or maleness, or femaleness or femininity..as an essential state, I would prefer if we could move beyond identity labels, and instead see past it.. But I suppose I see masculinity as enhabiting ‘boyness/maness’ whatever that may be to that person/culture at that time and is changable.
Does misandry exist?
Have you experienced gender and/or sex related prejudice?
I am transgendered ftm, so have experienced gender related prejudice mostly when I was female, but also from transphobia since. I also feel I have lost a lot of community I used to have as female, I suppose perhaps some women assume a lack/loss of affinity with me now, although thats not how I feel toward them.But don’t blame them either.
What best describes you?
None of the above
lefty, anarchist, feminist