About the show: Dave Pickering takes us on a personal journey through gender as he tries to explain masculinity both to you and to himself. Part true storytelling, part TED talk and part apology, the show looks at how the patriarchy hurts men too; how the patriarchy has hurt him, and how he has hurt people because of patriarchy. Drawing on an anonymous survey of 1000 men, feminist theory, internet memes and his life experience, Dave will explain the conclusions he Read More ...
Does patriarchy exist?
How would you define patriarchy?
A social construct mainly run by rich men (I’d say white but Saudi Arabia exists) designed to advantage them, mainly at the expense of women. Particularly prevalent in the majority of the world today. (While I feel it’s far better in comparison to how it was 100 years ago it’s pretty clear that we’re nowhere near true equality)
How has patriarchy hurt you?
Made it incredibly difficult to talk to people when I was suffering with depression due to some inner feeling that “men don’t get depressed” and “talking about how you feel isn’t allowed as a man” Made coming to terms with my bisexuality incredibly difficult. I still haven’t completely. Very few people outside of a close circle of friends know that I am. I still feel like I couldn’t have a “proper” relationship with another man. Generally I feel a pressure to succeed by their yardstick of what a man is. Whilst quite a “manly” man myself I still find myself saying and doing things that play up to that in order to avoid drawing negative attention to myself.
How have you hurt people in a way influenced by patriachy?
The depressive breakdown I suffered about 4 years ago must have had a negative effect on my family. No particular examples I can think of but I probably have. It’s worth noting I was brought up by a single mother and my grandmother was also a mayor. I feel this is why I never really believed in traditional gender roles. HOWEVER I remember as a young teen I’d regularly seek ways to assert myself as the top male at school and a lot of the time this involved bullying smaller, weaker “more feminine” guys to establish myself. I have, without doubt, scared the living shit out of women simply by approaching them. Even if unintentional this is due to the patriarchy and aspects of rape culture meaning women can’t feel safe around men.
How would you define masculinity?
A set of social and biological behaviours and attributes that is pressed upon men and boys from an early age. Many people mistake being masculine as being important when in actuality it is not.
Does misandry exist?
Partially. Discrimination in any form can and does exist. Just because it is against a power group. Changing definitions does nothing to help anyone.
Have you experienced gender and/or sex related prejudice?
What best describes you?