About the show: Dave Pickering takes us on a personal journey through gender as he tries to explain masculinity both to you and to himself. Part true storytelling, part TED talk and part apology, the show looks at how the patriarchy hurts men too; how the patriarchy has hurt him, and how he has hurt people because of patriarchy. Drawing on an anonymous survey of 1000 men, feminist theory, internet memes and his life experience, Dave will explain the conclusions he Read More ...
Does patriarchy exist?
How would you define patriarchy?
A huge pile of bullshit that keeps power in the old boys club.
How has patriarchy hurt you?
I get the piss taken out of me for promoting equality. If I were a paranoid man, I’d say that I was spoken poorly of behind closed doors and that it subsequently hurt my chances of success, but fuckit, that’s a view held by paranoid insecure assholes. If I didn’t get the promotion, it’s because someone else was better, not because I spoke out against objectification. To chest-thump otherwise is to embody the negative side of masculinity.
How have you hurt people in a way influenced by patriachy?
Yeah, pretty much constantly, no matter how hard I try to avoid it I’ll still accidentally say half the words in a meeting with three other women, and talk about golf and beer with my interview panel.
How would you define masculinity?
A sense of identity in a group of traits traditionally associated with the male gender. As with any group identity, it has the potential to become exclusionary or feel threatened by other group identities. I believe masculinity is redeemable but this is outwith the ability of our current society as a whole, and most men generally.
Does misandry exist?
Isolated occurrences in specific situations, but set against a backdrop of historical imbalance. Is “whitey” racially oppressed in the hood? Technically yes, but taken in a wider historical context, it’s more complex. Anyway, I believe true equality will happen, not when no men or women are ever advantaged or disadvantaged over each other, but when the various isolated bullshit inequalities are shared 50:50 between men and women. I’d like to see half of all industries have a “higher paid females” problem, not 1 in 100 as we have now.
Have you experienced gender and/or sex related prejudice?
Only in a way that has advantaged me
Oh shit yes, being a straight white man is like playing life on easy mode. The only problem is the company is pretty shameful. There are a bunch of immature kids around you yelling “it’s easy, stop being a pussy” at all the black gay women playing the game of life on “brutal”, a choice they didn’t make.
What best describes you?
Feminist isn’t really my word and I don’t deserve to have my voice heard by other feminists, and I have nothing useful to say to feminist women or allies. However, the label is useful to get less enlightened men to fucking think for a second.