About the show: Dave Pickering takes us on a personal journey through gender as he tries to explain masculinity both to you and to himself. Part true storytelling, part TED talk and part apology, the show looks at how the patriarchy hurts men too; how the patriarchy has hurt him, and how he has hurt people because of patriarchy. Drawing on an anonymous survey of 1000 men, feminist theory, internet memes and his life experience, Dave will explain the conclusions he Read More ...
Does patriarchy exist?
How would you define patriarchy?
An unjustified segregation of power and influence biased towards the male gender with defined roles, behaviors and language reinforced by codifying success or failure based on your adherence to these unwritten but easily identifiable standards. These standards are based largely on societal pressures to conform to common and outdated gender stereotyping which is both unnecessary and unjustified
How has patriarchy hurt you?
Growing up I was exposed to both masculine and feminine influences and found both to applicable to my life. Enacting these influences lead to school bullying as I was not acting in a way expected of my sex. In my adult life I still try and combine both masculine and feminine aspects together, both internally for my own life and externally in the way that I try not to apply gendered roles or expectations on to other people. As a bisexual male I also experience and are sometimes included in a perception that queer men (taken to mean gay/bisexual/trans/genderfluid/asexual) are somehow not “real men” due to their attitudes and language not matching that of their gender role.
How have you hurt people in a way influenced by patriachy?
In groups of men engaged in misogynistic conversation, whether serious or joking I have sometimes joined in with this language, hurting or insulting people in the purpose of finding acceptance within the group. I also unconsciously gender my language when talking to both genders; being more “feelings oriented” when speaking to women and not asking similar questions of my male friends. It was not until I thought about my answer that I realised this so if nothing else than shaping my thoughts, this survey has given me a goal to reduce the genderfication of my language.
How would you define masculinity?
Masculinity is a set of ideals that are applied to males from birth, even before they are self aware and reinforced to females by their exclusion from masculine behaviours. Typical masculine traits are along these lines: Strong (mental,physical and emotional) Good with manual and skilled labour. Interests in typical masculine hobbies (cars, military, computer games etc.) The list could continue for some time.
Does misandry exist?
Misandry as an ideal could theoretically exist as females who have experienced patriarchal oppression either consciously or unconsciously give less weight masculinity in favour of females who align with their own set of ideals and dismiss or ignore those of the traditional patriachy.
Have you experienced gender and/or sex related prejudice?
I have experienced prejudice that has advantaged me and that has not. The prejudice that has not advantaged me is minor compared to the prejudice that most females endure but I will include for comparison. The typical prejudices I encounter are language and behavioural; I experience peoples assumptions on my tastes and hobbies based on my outward gender. I have (less in later/current life) been mocked for being more emotional than is gender typical, for having hobbies and interests that are feminine and for finding some masculine pursuits uninteresting. In social situations I am not asked to attend some events because there is a perception that as they are not masculine I would not enjoy them and similar situations that whilst are not ideal, do not leave me significantly personally disadvantaged.
What best describes you?