About the show: Dave Pickering takes us on a personal journey through gender as he tries to explain masculinity both to you and to himself. Part true storytelling, part TED talk and part apology, the show looks at how the patriarchy hurts men too; how the patriarchy has hurt him, and how he has hurt people because of patriarchy. Drawing on an anonymous survey of 1000 men, feminist theory, internet memes and his life experience, Dave will explain the conclusions he Read More ...
Does patriarchy exist?
How would you define patriarchy?
An institutional, societal, cultural and economic bias toward men, and perceived masculine traits and ideals.
How has patriarchy hurt you?
Patriarchy has hurt me whenever I acted in such a way, that didn’t conform to “masculine ideals.” Being bullied and excluded at school because I didn’t play football and had quite a few female friends. They called me ‘gay’ as if it were an insult, (which I suppose to them, it was) even though I wasn’t in fact, gay. Though, if were to explain to them that I was asexual, they probably wouldn’t even accept that it exists. Many still don’t, because y’know, men are always looking for their next fuck, right? These days, I’m glad that I can wear those tall, women’s boots and watch My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, and have only to contend with the occasional raised eyebrow.
How have you hurt people in a way influenced by patriachy?
Sometimes, I did. When the same people who bullied me rounded on someone else, I would sometimes join in. As low down on the social hierarchy as I was, at least there was someone “girlier”, “gayer”, “weaker” than I was.
How would you define masculinity?
I wouldn’t define it at all. Those ideals and traits that we have segregated by gender; strength, courage, power for boys and grace, tact, compassion for girls, exist in both, in equal measure. They aren’t instilled in some and not others, and they can’t be turned on like a breaker switch. The best any of us can hope for, is that we can summon up a little of them when the time calls for it.
Does misandry exist?
Have you experienced gender and/or sex related prejudice?
What best describes you?