About the show: Dave Pickering takes us on a personal journey through gender as he tries to explain masculinity both to you and to himself. Part true storytelling, part TED talk and part apology, the show looks at how the patriarchy hurts men too; how the patriarchy has hurt him, and how he has hurt people because of patriarchy. Drawing on an anonymous survey of 1000 men, feminist theory, internet memes and his life experience, Dave will explain the conclusions he Read More ...
Does patriarchy exist?
How would you define patriarchy?
The social construct whereby both males and females are oppressed through defined gender roles and entrenched ideals around gender.
How has patriarchy hurt you?
As a man it is difficult to claim a hurt from patriarchy as there are aspects to it that are beneficial, though no less damaging and regressive. However I feel that patriarchy enforces a certain way of thinking and acting upon men in order to be seen as ‘masculine’. The ‘groupthink’ that arises from patriarchy being seen by many as the norm and thus acceptable has resulted me being marginalised for not holding these views. Many workplaces are still a ‘boys club’ to a lesser and greater extent, and I am certain that my progression in some organisations I have worked in has been damaged by the system created by patriarchy.
How have you hurt people in a way influenced by patriachy?
I can’t pinpoint a specific event or events, but given that my attitude towards gender, particularly in my younger years, has undoubtedly been formed to some extent by patriarchy. This has certainly resulted in interactions with both genders where my views and actions have been shaped by patriarchy and resulted in a negative outcome. The pervasive nature of patriarchy has meant for me that the times where I have hurt people as a result, I have not even considered as such. My lack of awareness and consideration on how my actions are shaped by patriarchy, and the impact on others is perhaps the most damning of all!
How would you define masculinity?
I think masculinity has been lost in modern society, which is perhaps reflected by a tendency of some young males to regress to patriarchal views and misogyny as they fear a ‘crisis of masculinity’. For me personally, masculinity is about being principled and strong minded individual who holds strong values. That is not to say that these are gender specific values, but rather that those are the values that I hold to make a ‘good man’
Does misandry exist?
Difficult to say, as while I think that there are pockets of misandry in existence in society, I have not myself experienced them in any great extent, rather brushes with it, and feel that misandry is often used as the battle cry of misogynists looing to reinforce patriarchy by painting all feminists as ‘men hating lesbians in comfy shoes’ (I’ve actually heard a person say that exact quote!)
Have you experienced gender and/or sex related prejudice?
What best describes you?
An ally to feminism