About the show: Dave Pickering takes us on a personal journey through gender as he tries to explain masculinity both to you and to himself. Part true storytelling, part TED talk and part apology, the show looks at how the patriarchy hurts men too; how the patriarchy has hurt him, and how he has hurt people because of patriarchy. Drawing on an anonymous survey of 1000 men, feminist theory, internet memes and his life experience, Dave will explain the conclusions he Read More ...
Does patriarchy exist?
How would you define patriarchy?
Difficult to define and different for different communities. We have a business, political and economic patriarchy, but very much a social and domestic matriarchy… so men and women are often ‘in charge’ in some field and very much disempowered in others..
How has patriarchy hurt you?
It creates expectations on what a man is, and how to behave. These can be both positive and negative… there is an expectation to place work and success first, but not too much, to be strong, but not too strong, etc… it is not unique to men, women have the similar expectations of them, but they are different.
How have you hurt people in a way influenced by patriachy?
I don’t think so, at least not consciously… all my bosses and line managers have been female, bar one… I am not authoritative in my marriage, I have no children..
How would you define masculinity?
The process of being a man.
Does misandry exist?
Misandry is the counterpoint to misogyny. Just as many men seem to fear or dislike women, so too to many women fear and dislike men. There is overt misandry, and subtle misandry. There is small stuff, the female version of laddishness ‘terms like man management’ etc… but there is the big stuff like rape of male prisoners (no one cares), the suspicion and dysfunctionality of how our society forces men to interact with children etc etc.. too loong to go on..
Have you experienced gender and/or sex related prejudice?
Have been passed over for job opportunities (we need someone female etc), get annoyed at having to constantly not complain about stuff while it is accepted that I must grin and bear whatever is thrown at me in the name of ‘taking it like a man’…
What best describes you?
The trouble with feninism is not what it means – I am a feminist – but what it has come to mean. To men of my generation, born in the 1980s, a certain branch of feminism came to mean being told to be quiet so the girls could talk, it meant special girls clubs and womens societies… these were probably necessary, but have created confusion and a sense that while everyone cares about womens issues (rightly so) there has been little attention to male issues..