About the show: Dave Pickering takes us on a personal journey through gender as he tries to explain masculinity both to you and to himself. Part true storytelling, part TED talk and part apology, the show looks at how the patriarchy hurts men too; how the patriarchy has hurt him, and how he has hurt people because of patriarchy. Drawing on an anonymous survey of 1000 men, feminist theory, internet memes and his life experience, Dave will explain the conclusions he Read More ...
Does patriarchy exist?
How would you define patriarchy?
The fact we live in a world designed for people who meet the precondition of being men.
How has patriarchy hurt you?
It hasn’t, not like that. But it’s shaped me, and it’s taken and continues to take a lot of time and effort to control the kind of man I want to be.
How have you hurt people in a way influenced by patriachy?
I’m sure in the past I’ve disregarded people and used the fact that they weren’t men/straight/manly or whatever as a reason for this. It’s pretty ingrained that those are legitimate reasons not to value people. Obviously I try to avoid this now.
How would you define masculinity?
One way of expressing a male identity, often used as shorthand for the ideal way of doing so.
Does misandry exist?
I know you’re supposed to say it doesn’t exist, but I’m not sure. I’ve seen an older teacher at a primary school explain to young boys that they’re all horrible, that the being a boy makes them less valuable. I don’t use the word ‘misandry’, because it’s a favourite of MRAs and I want nothing to do with them. But I do think there’s an argument to be made that people read as male are valued less by society as children, and I think this has got to do some damage. In no way though would I use that to excuse the entitlement that many men feel they have in all aspects of their lives, or the pervasive misogyny in this society.
Have you experienced gender and/or sex related prejudice?
I know that a lot of my life is easier than many people’s because of how I present. That I’m a guy is just part of this though: there’s race and class issues too, and I don’t think it’s really possible to disentangle these. For the most part though, I would assume that I have only experienced this in a way that has advantaged me.
What best describes you?
None of the above
In this context they’re all quite loaded terms. I have called myself a feminist in the past, but I’ve stopped fairly recently due to frustration with many of the other guys who were loudly tooting about being feminists or feminist allies. I’m certainly an egalitarian but don’t believe that word should be used in place of feminist, because that misses the point. It’s a whole other thing. See also ‘humanist’. I’m pretty sure ‘equalist’ was the name the bad guys used in Legend of Korra. I’d rather go train with the Air Benders. So ‘feminist’, but I wouldn’t put it in my twitter bio anymore.