About the show: Dave Pickering takes us on a personal journey through gender as he tries to explain masculinity both to you and to himself. Part true storytelling, part TED talk and part apology, the show looks at how the patriarchy hurts men too; how the patriarchy has hurt him, and how he has hurt people because of patriarchy. Drawing on an anonymous survey of 1000 men, feminist theory, internet memes and his life experience, Dave will explain the conclusions he Read More ...
Does patriarchy exist?
How would you define patriarchy?
A system of structural oppression which subjugates all women and non – binary people in society and imposes restrictive roles on those of all genders. It is also a system in which all power is held by a male hegemonic group.
How has patriarchy hurt you?
As a man, patriarchy imposes a certain ideal upon me. While not as outwardly and obviously threatening as the oppression faced by women in a patriarchy, it does reduce my freedom to be who I want to be, by pressuring me to conform to reductive and archaic gender norms.
How have you hurt people in a way influenced by patriachy?
I have made sexist comments, particularly while at school. For a long time I ignored the voices of marginalised groups. I have also told my male friends to ‘man up’ and do something they didn’t want to do. Since becoming more informed I have sometimes still failed to stand up to my friends when they say something misogynistic.
How would you define masculinity?
For me, it means being the best you can be and holding yourself to a good moral standard, by being tolerant of others no matter if they are very different to you. In my heterosexual long term relationship it means being loving, caring and supportive to my girlfriend in achieving her goals, and listening to what she wants from me physically and emotionally.
Does misandry exist?
I think it does exist, but while all women remain structurally oppressed I would not presume to tone-police.
Have you experienced gender and/or sex related prejudice?
gender roles have meant that when male flatmate was going through some emotional/relationship issues, he did not bring them to me a good friend but preferred to discuss them with his women friends, despite us knowing him and the situation much better.
What best describes you?
Men can be feminists! but mustn’t shout over the women. This is their fight and job is to listen and put into practice what they tell us, and challenge misogyny where we see it.