About the show: Dave Pickering takes us on a personal journey through gender as he tries to explain masculinity both to you and to himself. Part true storytelling, part TED talk and part apology, the show looks at how the patriarchy hurts men too; how the patriarchy has hurt him, and how he has hurt people because of patriarchy. Drawing on an anonymous survey of 1000 men, feminist theory, internet memes and his life experience, Dave will explain the conclusions he Read More ...
Does patriarchy exist?
How would you define patriarchy?
Any hegemonic social system shaped by a persistent history of domination by men
How has patriarchy hurt you?
Patriarchy inflects everything – it deprives me of horizontal relations with my friends and loved ones. It demands of me conformity to certain gender roles and punishes me for deviation or failure to perform.
How have you hurt people in a way influenced by patriachy?
By intimidating others with confidence born of privilege. More frequently – by being under-assertive due to fear of my own power as a man. Especially in romantic relationships, I have felt trapped, angry, displaced, and vulnerable because of the tension between ideas of what a relationship is supposed to be and my own feelings and experience. Patriarchy ways in on both sides of this confusion.
How would you define masculinity?
In different ways, depending on the context. Masculinity is a name given to various constructs. I don’t find it helpful.
Does misandry exist?
I don’t know what misandry is!
Have you experienced gender and/or sex related prejudice?
In many ways – mainly in the expectation that I perform an easily identifiable gender role, and in the negative repercussions when I don’t. As a child I was bullied for having long hair, and regularly read as a girl by strangers. I get read as a slightly effeminate man – but have always identified more closely with the figure of the tomboy than any other gender role. I have also surely benefitted from male privilege in many ways – access to resources, education, a different level of autonomy, a higher degree of daily safety…
What best describes you?