About the show: Dave Pickering takes us on a personal journey through gender as he tries to explain masculinity both to you and to himself. Part true storytelling, part TED talk and part apology, the show looks at how the patriarchy hurts men too; how the patriarchy has hurt him, and how he has hurt people because of patriarchy. Drawing on an anonymous survey of 1000 men, feminist theory, internet memes and his life experience, Dave will explain the conclusions he Read More ...
Does patriarchy exist?
How would you define patriarchy?
I voted “Yet” but reducing a systematic recurring theme to a single word as if it’s some kind of evil empire reduces the core concept problem. Patriarchy is best described, imo, as “Manly man = the norm”. How one arrives to the manly man bit differs. It’s mostly through power,, physical power is one, financial is another. You have to be better than the rest one way or another, a constant contest. Women are usually seen as weaker, physically, or because they showcase emotions more often (on average) and this is also a detriment to “Being more powerful”
How has patriarchy hurt you?
For a long time I was too endeavouring, too hard, and too eager to screw over others. It wasn’t until my previous employer had me work for a, pardon, absolute horrible woman (She was just a bad person. She wasn’t a bad person because she was a woman.) who showed me that if you keep doing things like that you’re likely to end up alone. I suffered a burnout from the job by constantly working more than I should, putting in about 60 hours a week without much time off. As a youth, I felt inadequate because while I like to think of myself as smart (Which I am, fairly. Without trying to sound too arrogant) I wasn’t AS smart as others. I was, and am still horribly out of shape. Strong, sure, but a far cry from physically attractive. I felt inadequate. Now that I have been at home for a while, and doing volunteer work with kids and handicapped people I’ve mellowed out. And while I still need to lose weight, I’m not defined by my body.
How have you hurt people in a way influenced by patriachy?
I can only say, I hope not. I may have been too flippant about sexists jokes earlier on in my career, not being derogatory towards women, but about them, perhaps? I’m naturally a jokester by nature so I can only say I hope none of them were bothered by it because I’m just as likely to make jokes about anything else.
How would you define masculinity?
I think I typed out enough about the “Constant contest”. Masculinity, as perceived, is wrong. It’s no longer needed to like sports, just action movies, and be a big, strong, successful man.
Does misandry exist?
But, systematic misandry more than likely doesn’t exist. Evident by the fact my spellcheck doesn’t accept it? Haha. But individual people can be misandrists.
Have you experienced gender and/or sex related prejudice?
For a while I wasn’t taken “as serious” by my colleagues because I was the only man in a team of women in one of our hotel locations. The boss (Said bad person from earlier on) was too “Girlfriendy” with the others, despite me being just as capable as them. Once one or two left, I got the chance to receive a promotion though, before she literally terrorized me out of her hotel and the district manager put me in a different hotel location with a better suited team.
What best describes you?
An ally to feminism
I don’t think I endorse feminism enough to outright call myself a feminist? Maybe I’m thinking too much about this. I do believe women are equal to men in every way, the only differences are individual ones.