About the show: Dave Pickering takes us on a personal journey through gender as he tries to explain masculinity both to you and to himself. Part true storytelling, part TED talk and part apology, the show looks at how the patriarchy hurts men too; how the patriarchy has hurt him, and how he has hurt people because of patriarchy. Drawing on an anonymous survey of 1000 men, feminist theory, internet memes and his life experience, Dave will explain the conclusions he Read More ...
Does patriarchy exist?
How would you define patriarchy?
See Grayson Perry’s definition of Default Man. An entire society based around the primacy of white, male, middle-class heterosexuals, to the point where it’s become almost completely invisible and accepted by everyone, even the huge proportion of people who don’t fit into that category. Rupert Murdoch, Simon Cowell, UKIP and Mike the Knight are cases in point.
How has patriarchy hurt you?
I lost a job because the boss (male, idiot) had no way of communicating with me outside or cars and football, two things I know little about. Also, our family finances currently take a small hit as my wife is the main breadwinner. Also, repressed emotions and the desire to be a Nice Guy(TM) led to a violent outburst in the past for which I have never forgiven myself. Cue depression, self-harm and continuing therapy.
How have you hurt people in a way influenced by patriachy?
Countless times through sheer ignorance and lack of experience.
How would you define masculinity?
You have a relationship with your facial hair based on the daily choice of what to do with it, and something I deduced from my father when I was very young: men have jangly pockets. Other than that, the true crisis of masculinity is that it requires a woman to play a specific supporting role, a role which many educated western women in modern times are refusing to play. Without a woman to impress / sleep with / keep, masculinity falls flat. So, jangly pockets it is.
Does misandry exist?
It exists because women simply aren’t able to trust men not to do or say something completely stupid. It’s a prejudice that is hard-earned for lots of women. Also, misandry is completely different from misogyny in terms of scale, threat-level and ramifications. There is no equivalence between what Anita Sarkeesian says and what is said about her by others.
Have you experienced gender and/or sex related prejudice?
Only in a way that has advantaged me
What best describes you?