About the show: Dave Pickering takes us on a personal journey through gender as he tries to explain masculinity both to you and to himself. Part true storytelling, part TED talk and part apology, the show looks at how the patriarchy hurts men too; how the patriarchy has hurt him, and how he has hurt people because of patriarchy. Drawing on an anonymous survey of 1000 men, feminist theory, internet memes and his life experience, Dave will explain the conclusions he Read More ...
Does patriarchy exist?
How would you define patriarchy?
A set of systemic assumptions made about people based on gender that tends on average to give men advantages (being assumed to be more capable for example), especially if they adhere to a specific model of ‘manliness’, which are particularly insidious because many people, especially those benefiting from them, do not question their validity.
How has patriarchy hurt you?
It tells me I’m not a ‘real’ man for my interests. I’m completely aware that as patriarchal harm goes, this is definitely the shallow end of the pool, but it’s the one that springs to mind most easily. There are likely others, but honestly I’ve mostly been looking outwards, to limit or prevent any harm I may cause than inwards to see that harm it’s done me.
How have you hurt people in a way influenced by patriachy?
When I was younger, I used the word ‘gay’ as an insult. When I was younger, I believed and perpetuated many common patriarchal tropes, such as the ‘friend zone’ and such. Now I try to be more mindful, but I’m aware that it’s so easy to miss some unquestioned assumption somewhere along the way.
How would you define masculinity?
A poor model. If we defined a rainbow as being ‘red’ at one end and ‘violet’ at the other, then defined things as either being red or violet, we completely miss out on so much – green is seen as neither, for example, although in this context if ‘red’ is masculine, green would be defined by its absence of red. Masculinity is what you make of it, male, female, in between or none of the above.
Does misandry exist?
Institutionalised? Absolutely not. Do some people have a hatred of men? Entirely possible. Is it an issue to be concerned with, or on a par with misogyny? Absolutely not.
Have you experienced gender and/or sex related prejudice?
Only in a way that has advantaged me
What best describes you?
Feminist or ally, depending on who I’m talking with. I tend to think of myself as more feminist than ally though. Also egalitarian (and humanist), since to me feminism is technically a subsection of that (but obviously a crucially important one, not trying to diminish its worth)