About the show: Dave Pickering takes us on a personal journey through gender as he tries to explain masculinity both to you and to himself. Part true storytelling, part TED talk and part apology, the show looks at how the patriarchy hurts men too; how the patriarchy has hurt him, and how he has hurt people because of patriarchy. Drawing on an anonymous survey of 1000 men, feminist theory, internet memes and his life experience, Dave will explain the conclusions he Read More ...
Does patriarchy exist?
How would you define patriarchy?
a system of society or government in which the father or eldest male is head of the family and descent is reckoned through the male line.
How has patriarchy hurt you?
It hasn’t, when I was born the patriarchy had been gone for years. Plus it doesn’t hurt that where I live women were equal in most regards because they needed to be. Poor soil and living conditions forced everyone to value everyone else because if they didn’t help work the fields, grind the flour, churn the butter etc etc. everyone would starve. Their voices didn’t get valued less until industrialization where women didn’t have to work as much and instead became home makers. Don’t get me wrong back then they didn’t have such fundamental rights as voting etc. but their opinions were valued higher.
How have you hurt people in a way influenced by patriachy?
I don’t think I have, unless you mean the rad feminist “definition” of patriarchy. Because in that case, I have looked at women, I have told offensive jokes and I have slept with my girlfriends. Some of which have been into bdsm in which I partook. The fight against the idea of patriarchy has hurt me though. I worked for a company and was tasked to hire an additional sys admin and was ordered to value less qualified females higher then more qualified males for the company to get PR value.
How would you define masculinity?
This is case sensitive. In my native language there is no real 1:1 translation for stuff like “bad ass” or “cool” so at times depending on the situation “so fucking manly” is used instead. But I assume you mean how would I define someone being a man and it would simply be someone past puberty who identifies as a male. I understand that I’m not the norm but I find it rather silly to ascribe arbitrary values to traits. Be who you want to be and fuck everyone who doesn’t like it, they aren’t worth your time anyways.
Does misandry exist?
Sure it does, just like homophoia(as in actual fear, not just the missnomer for bigotry against homosexuals) and misogyny exists. It’s just that everything that gets lable as such doens’t actually come anywhere close to actually being the thing.
Have you experienced gender and/or sex related prejudice?
Hiering example from questoin 4. I’ve been kicked in the family jewls for greeting a woman in a parking garage and been told that I should have expected it, I could have been a rapist. I have first hand experience watching a friends life crumble due to a false rape allogation. I’ve also read/watched/heard a load of internet based “femenists”(quoatation marks needed because just like extremists of any group I don’t kid myself into thinking they are representive of the group as a whole) state basles oppinons and when evidence of the opposite being true still sticking to their oppinios. As for sex related prejudice, bdsm is rarely understood, even after explenation people tend to think it’s just con/nocon which is something I don’t personaly do and have no intent on ever doing.
What best describes you?
None of the above
I would define myself as a resonable human being. While I agree that everyone is worthy of the same chance to succeed in society, I don’t belive that equality is what we should strive for but a just and fair society. I further don’t believe that two people are worth as much as humanbeings. I don’t think that my abritary way of valuing people makes anyone worthless, just worth less in certain situations. I would for instance value my gf higher then me because her contributions to society is higher.