About the show: Dave Pickering takes us on a personal journey through gender as he tries to explain masculinity both to you and to himself. Part true storytelling, part TED talk and part apology, the show looks at how the patriarchy hurts men too; how the patriarchy has hurt him, and how he has hurt people because of patriarchy. Drawing on an anonymous survey of 1000 men, feminist theory, internet memes and his life experience, Dave will explain the conclusions he Read More ...
Does patriarchy exist?
How would you define patriarchy?
A society which is systemically set up to benefit men (primarily cishet white men)
How has patriarchy hurt you?
I’ve never been “traditionally masculine”: I’m quiet, not particularly assertive, et cetera. Men who don’t have these qualities are perceived as weak. Probably more interesting for your purposes: I attended a fundamentalist Christian religious school for twelve years. I was constantly taught what I recognize now as rape culture: men are “visual creatures” who can’t control their urges, and it’s the responsibility of women to police the way they dress and act, so they can “keep their brothers from stumbling.” Fortunately I never felt like this sort of thing was talking about me, but it sure did fuck me up being constantly told that I was an uncontrollable monster.
How have you hurt people in a way influenced by patriachy?
To say nothing of what I’m sure were countless instances where being a man benefited me without realizing it, before I started thinking about feminism, I was fond of gendered slurs and sexist jokes, All In Good Fun. I would never have thought of myself as a sexist, and indeed would have likely protested that most of my closest friends were women. I don’t really remember any individual incident, but I’m sure there are countless cases where my thoughtlessness injured someone.
How would you define masculinity?
I really try not to. Traditional masculinity is bullshit and pinning nontraditional masculinity to a definition, if it has to be a thing, seems kind of counterproductive.
Does misandry exist?
Have you experienced gender and/or sex related prejudice?
What best describes you?