About the show: Dave Pickering takes us on a personal journey through gender as he tries to explain masculinity both to you and to himself. Part true storytelling, part TED talk and part apology, the show looks at how the patriarchy hurts men too; how the patriarchy has hurt him, and how he has hurt people because of patriarchy. Drawing on an anonymous survey of 1000 men, feminist theory, internet memes and his life experience, Dave will explain the conclusions he Read More ...
Does patriarchy exist?
How would you define patriarchy?
A society/culture structured such that men as a class are afforded greater power, autonomy, influence, rights and access to resources, resulting in their interests being prioritised over those of women (as a class) often to the direct detriment of women’s wellbeing and freedom.
How has patriarchy hurt you?
It has diminished my freedom and ability to own and express my full range of emotions and desires. It has pushed me into a narrow and often self-destructive way of being in the world. I feel patriarchy has diminished my ability to express vulnerability and need. However, the extent to which it has hurt me is less than the damage done to the majority of women I know.
How have you hurt people in a way influenced by patriachy?
I have belittled women in relation to what spheres of life they shod operate in or succeed in. I have treated women as sexual objects through my access of pornography, colluding with a misogynistic and abusive industry.
How would you define masculinity?
A stereotyped and narrow mode of being-in-the-world expected of men, into which men are inducted from birth, which prioritises and valourises power, force, violence, competition, rivalry, conquest and control. Not all men do embrace this mode of being but all experience some pressure to conform to it. There are other ways of being-as-male but these are so rare and generally lookes down upon by men within a patriarchy that I’m loathe to call them ‘masculinity’.
Does misandry exist?
Some men are mistreated by other men on an individual basis, and sometimes as a subclass e.g. due to class or race, but this is not misandry. Some men are also mistreated similarly by individual women or groups of women but this is almost always due to some other characteristic and/or is not systemic/institutionalized. Therefore I don’t think this can be classed as misandry. Misandry would require the tools of institutionalized/codified power and necessary instruments of power e.g. Police, courts to constitute a systemic oppression by class.
Have you experienced gender and/or sex related prejudice?
Yes, but generally in a way that advantaged me or didn’t significantly harm me.
What best describes you?
An ally to feminism