About the show: Dave Pickering takes us on a personal journey through gender as he tries to explain masculinity both to you and to himself. Part true storytelling, part TED talk and part apology, the show looks at how the patriarchy hurts men too; how the patriarchy has hurt him, and how he has hurt people because of patriarchy. Drawing on an anonymous survey of 1000 men, feminist theory, internet memes and his life experience, Dave will explain the conclusions he Read More ...
Does patriarchy exist?
How would you define patriarchy?
It’s how society tends to see men as being stronger, as leaders. How men get the better jobs, the greater respect, positions of power etc.
How has patriarchy hurt you?
Because, as a bloke, people expect you to possess those leadership qualities. To be strong, emotionless, powerful, decisive. Not every bloke actually is that way. I’m not. I’ve been put into a job role that I wasn’t suited to largely because I was male. I didn’t want the role. I was expected to be strong, but I was just me. It was really hard, made me really unhappy and has caused me huge amounts of personal turmoil. It’s the same with relationships. Not being strong enough, not providing enough, not being powerful or respected enough are seen as negatives.
How have you hurt people in a way influenced by patriachy?
I’m not sure if I have. Not intentionally anyway. I guess sometimes I think I’m right when I’m not and expect others to listen. I’m not sure if that’s patriarchy or character flaw though.
How would you define masculinity?
Masculinity is usually seen as strength, ability to protect, power, respect, decisiveness, muscles, sportiness, banter, aggression, sweat, hair. I think it’s just whether you have a nob or not.
Does misandry exist?
I don’t know what misandry is!
If you go onto online dating and read profiles they are full of negative stereotypes of men. It’s the same on a lot of women’s social media pages. Lots of judgements about men’s behaviours, manner, intentions. Lots of stuff which is just nasty. Not about individuals, just judgements about men as a whole. An expectation that we will cheat, undermine, lie etc purely because we are men. That really annoys me. Lots of mass produced quotes too, especially on Facebook saying pretty much the same crap you had men saying about women in the 70s -80s media that is taboo now. That’s annoying too.
Have you experienced gender and/or sex related prejudice?
I don’t really know. I’m a daydreamer. I don’t notice those things
What best describes you?