Respondent 983

Does patriarchy exist?

Yes

How would you define patriarchy?

As a somewhat undirected / embedded system that defines and exerts pressure on people based on their sex / gender. This affects peoples’ behaviour, career, appearance and many other things – and also our expectations / reactions to people who go against this expectation. It certainly most negatively affects women in terms of control and power for themselves and in the world – everything from being paid less to do the same job to feelings of how one should appear.

How has patriarchy hurt you?

Mainly in terms of feeling empathy for women who have suffered the negative effects of patriarchal systems / behaviours. In a small way, personally in terms of the expectations the media / group mentality place on being male. This manifested in feeling obliged to act in certain more traditionally masculine ways, which ultimately made me quite sad and stopped me developing into a more rounded, happier person.

How have you hurt people in a way influenced by patriachy?

Before reading feminist viewpoints and coming to a better understanding of patriarchy, I was undoubtedly guiltily of propagating the system. Mainly in terms of expectations of what and how women should be. I certainly had a bit of a ‘nice guy’ complex in my teens / early 20s, and felt hard done by with women, which is unfair and a bit immature. This all would have been somewhat unwittingly and ignorantly, but that’s how insidious the patriarchal system is though – it doesn’t always look especially bad or feel like you’re doing anything wrong.

How would you define masculinity?

I think and hope that it’s changing from a traditional tough, confident, strong, hetero ‘laddy’ type to one that’s broader and more accepting of all kinds of males. Taken further, it becomes a pointless term if it encompasses all kinds of behaviours and traits and becomes a synonym for ‘male’. I don’t like the idea that certain behaviours are more associated with men and some with women – it seems a bit ridiculous and like an outdated way of thinking. That said, we have to work in the world we live in – so if it is useful to broaden the definition to include more men in progressive work, then that’s cool.

Does misandry exist?

Maybe

I think any systematic negative things men experience are also part of patriarchal systems. I guess it might be a useful word for extreme forms of radical feminism (ie. the idea that all men should die, for eg.)

Have you experienced gender and/or sex related prejudice?

Only in a way that has advantaged me

What best describes you?

A feminist

Respondent 982

Does patriarchy exist?

Yes

How would you define patriarchy?

Respondent skipped question

How has patriarchy hurt you?

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How have you hurt people in a way influenced by patriachy?

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How would you define masculinity?

Respondent skipped question

Does misandry exist?

Yes

Have you experienced gender and/or sex related prejudice?

Only in a way that has advantaged me

What best describes you?

A feminist

Respondent 981

Does patriarchy exist?

Yes

How would you define patriarchy?

It’s a dad being in charge of a family

How has patriarchy hurt you?

It hasn’t really as my mum was a strong woman so kept my dad in check when he stepped out of line. Saying that, I feel that my dad’s attitude to my mum’s mental health problems and how we were to deal with it as a family was partially responsible for her mental state not improving which eventually leading to her suicide.

How have you hurt people in a way influenced by patriachy?

I’m a teacher so adopt the role of “big brother” in the classroom. While I try to lead by example and impart knowledge in a positive way, I do often regress back to my childhood days and treat the pupils as I would my younger sisters.

How would you define masculinity?

The feeling of being male

Does misandry exist?

I don’t know what misandry is!

Have you experienced gender and/or sex related prejudice?

Yes

What best describes you?

Nice guy

Respondent 977

Does patriarchy exist?

Yes

How would you define patriarchy?

Men’s rule over women.

How has patriarchy hurt you?

Made me rule over women when I’d no desire to rule at all.

How have you hurt people in a way influenced by patriachy?

Acted, or hoped to act, as if they were means to an end, or hoped to serve as means to an end.

How would you define masculinity?

Man-ness, as enacted, expected, expressed or imposed.

Does misandry exist?

No

Ha ha ha ha. Like “reverse racism” or “liberal democracy”.

Have you experienced gender and/or sex related prejudice?

Only in a way that has advantaged me

What best describes you?

Respondent skipped question

Respondent 978

Does patriarchy exist?

Yes

How would you define patriarchy?

it is a system of power structures, social norms and assumptions put in place to preserve the status quo of those in power, mostly wealthy white men.

How has patriarchy hurt you?

Not being born a wealthy white man, I’m at a disadvantage in almost all aspects of life, education (didn’t manage to get an academic degree), finances (not making a profit off my little savings). On a more personal emotional level, having internalized masculinity my ability to deal with emotions and express them has been inhibited to the point that I require professional help to unlearn some of the habits and behaviors ascribed to be by masculinity.

How have you hurt people in a way influenced by patriachy?

Since it’s difficult for me to relate and empathize with people of different social class, color, gender or ethnicity other than my own, or white, I’ve ended up ignoring the needs, cries for help or basic human decency of such people. For example ignoring homeless people on the street asking for some help.

How would you define masculinity?

A set of very arbitrary rules governing the behavior and to a great extent the inner world of men, dictating certain ways a man must look, behave and think in order to be “worthy” of being regarded as a man.

Does misandry exist?

No

Have you experienced gender and/or sex related prejudice?

Yes

mostly in ways that have advantaged me, but also in a very small number of cases in ways that have disadvantaged me.

What best describes you?

A feminist

Respondent 976

Does patriarchy exist?

Yes

How would you define patriarchy?

A system of constructs that keeps men in a dominant and privileged position.

How has patriarchy hurt you?

Yes. Gender can be a construct too. I might have a penis and I might be heterosexual, but that does not mean I am the “man” that culture defines. Often people/society project an image of “man” on me that does not fit me at all, and (for example) expect me to make fun of women and their capabilities (as a programmer, as a car driver, …). I am privileged because of my biological sex and sexual orientation. I am hurt when I am confronted with the consequences of that privilege. Strongly feeling people are all inherently equal, I strongly despise this kind of system. That said, I think the way patriarchy hurts me is nothing compared to the damage patriarchy does to women.

How have you hurt people in a way influenced by patriachy?

I could do more with my privileges: I could be an ally more often. And I have been ignorant too often – even if we consider ourselves as “trying to do what is ethically correct as much as we can”, we still need to inform ourselves. I’ve consumed porn, and this way supported the porn industry, which is a strong pillar of patriarchy in the west (abuse and objectification of women as part of the free market, to be “consumed”).

How would you define masculinity?

A set of constructs legitimizing itself by pointing to some biological aspects that are shared by around 50% of the population.

Does misandry exist?

Yes

All people are capable of hating others based on their skin/gender/…

Have you experienced gender and/or sex related prejudice?

Yes

I do not fit in the mold society expects me too, but many people still act as if I do or should do.

What best describes you?

A feminist

Respondent 974

Does patriarchy exist?

Yes

How would you define patriarchy?

Patriarchy is an interpersonal political system, an earmarked provision of the social contract. It creates an environment of reward and punishment, servitude and fear and self-hatred, centered around an arbitrary idea of gender. Patriarchy makes it costly or deadly not to falsify yourself in its name.

How has patriarchy hurt you?

Patriarchy means that when I’m single I don’t get to touch anyone except for a handshake. Patriarchy told me that by feeling, I had failed, and that I had to stop crying, which of course I could never, because having begun to cry, I had already failed. Patriarchy caused me to ignore even the possibility that I was not really a boy for thirty years. Patriarchy made me accept for my whole life that I was the weird one. Patriarchy rewarded everyone who enforced all of this, parents, lovers, employers, civil servants, and strangers who shout “faggot” out of car windows.

How have you hurt people in a way influenced by patriachy?

Uncountable ways. Every time I did anything in order to be cool, I was selling out myself and all of us to patriarchy. I pandered to it, asked for its favor, and offered individuals as sacrifice. I was the instrument of its punishments.

How would you define masculinity?

Masculinity is a demon that crippled me until I decided it was wrong and stopped feeding it.

Does misandry exist?

No

Have you experienced gender and/or sex related prejudice?

Yes

What best describes you?

A feminist

Respondent 973

Does patriarchy exist?

Yes

How would you define patriarchy?

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How has patriarchy hurt you?

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How have you hurt people in a way influenced by patriachy?

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How would you define masculinity?

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Does misandry exist?

Yes

Have you experienced gender and/or sex related prejudice?

Only in a way that has advantaged me

What best describes you?

An ally to feminism

Respondent 972

Does patriarchy exist?

Yes

How would you define patriarchy?

It’s when everymeaningful decision is taken by and for men.

How has patriarchy hurt you?

By making me question my virility instead of the toxicity of my relationship. “If it’s not satisfactory it must be because I’m not man enough”.

How have you hurt people in a way influenced by patriachy?

I considered that women needed my help, by default.

How would you define masculinity?

It’s being a man while still being human. Every patriarchal rule deshumanize men.

Does misandry exist?

Yes

But only in very, very rare microcosms.

Have you experienced gender and/or sex related prejudice?

No

What best describes you?

None of the above

a human.

Respondent 968

Does patriarchy exist?

Yes

How would you define patriarchy?

Male dominance

How has patriarchy hurt you?

Other males believing they have power over female friends and family

How have you hurt people in a way influenced by patriachy?

sexist remarks or jokes

How would you define masculinity?

providing protection and strength for anyone who needs it. There is the old world view of masculinity being strong men and dominant but that is changing, more men are finding the importance of their femininity at the same time as being masculine.

Does misandry exist?

Maybe

Only in certain extreme circumstances

Have you experienced gender and/or sex related prejudice?

No

What best describes you?

Nice guy