Respondent 930

Does patriarchy exist?

Yes

How would you define patriarchy?

A deeply entrenched system that favours an (enforced) mascline ideal over all other genders.

How has patriarchy hurt you?

Self esteem issues due to percieved inability to live up to “normal” masculine norms of body type, interests, etc

How have you hurt people in a way influenced by patriachy?

God, probably. Can’t think of any specific times, but I did once spend an hour arguing that the patriarchy didn’t exist. I was old enough to know better. What a fucking idiot.

How would you define masculinity?

I’m not sure I can or should.

Does misandry exist?

No

Have you experienced gender and/or sex related prejudice?

Maybe

I’ve no doubt benefited from it but I can’t think of a specific example, which is probably the problem

What best describes you?

None of the above

I’m wary of claiming labels like feminist or ally but only because I feel like it’s easy to say but hard to live up to.

Respondent 929

Does patriarchy exist?

Yes

How would you define patriarchy?

A systemic bias towards men.

How has patriarchy hurt you?

I don’t think it has hurt me specifically as much as damaged the society I’m a part of. It’s certainly hurt people I care about.

How have you hurt people in a way influenced by patriachy?

I think, like most men, I’ve been guilty of not questioning things. I guess I’ve passively been a part of it, and that’s not enormously better than actively being a part of it.

How would you define masculinity?

I’m not sure. The traditional idea of it is a bit contradictory – stoic yet aggressive.

Does misandry exist?

No

Perhaps it does on an individual basis, not a societal one though.

Have you experienced gender and/or sex related prejudice?

No

What best describes you?

A feminist

Respondent 898

Does patriarchy exist?

Yes

How would you define patriarchy?

phallocentric gender system, which favours men over women. But also confines men and women alike to gender norms which oppress all genders. It is also a value system whereby the rational, logical, active, dominating, leadership, violent, strong (things associated with masculine) are given greater value and reward in society. (i.e women can succeed under patriarchy if they follow this value system, i.e Margaret thatcher is not a feminist hero, she is in a way a patriarch) .

How has patriarchy hurt you?

gender norms are very restrictive, although if I ‘pass’ I do accept privileges, but I am only valued as a ‘real man’ if I am competitive, dominant, strong, part of the boys club and if I have the physical attributes to match.. if I do not I am seen as a loser, or somehow castrated, beta, less than.. also if I don’t pass I can be more vulnerable to physical assaults. There is a lot of pressure on me to be a provider and succeed, a man that doesn’t do this is seen as weak. I am in no way saying its equal to what women go through, but is there none the less.

How have you hurt people in a way influenced by patriachy?

I am sure I have in numerous subtle and less subtle ways, I have objectified women for sure, I have listened to men over women at times, I have lost patience with some behaviors that are associated with femininity, I have taken more control with certain jobs/chores and responsibilities that I could have shared (or skill shared) more with women in my life, and visa versa.. (let women take more control of other responsibilities), not excessively but its happened!

How would you define masculinity?

I don’t believe in masculinity or maleness, or femaleness or femininity..as an essential state, I would prefer if we could move beyond identity labels, and instead see past it.. But I suppose I see masculinity as enhabiting ‘boyness/maness’ whatever that may be to that person/culture at that time and is changable.

Does misandry exist?

No

Have you experienced gender and/or sex related prejudice?

Yes

I am transgendered ftm, so have experienced gender related prejudice mostly when I was female, but also from transphobia since. I also feel I have lost a lot of community I used to have as female, I suppose perhaps some women assume a lack/loss of affinity with me now, although thats not how I feel toward them.But don’t blame them either.

What best describes you?

None of the above

lefty, anarchist, feminist

Respondent 894

Does patriarchy exist?

Yes

How would you define patriarchy?

Society stacking the odds in men’s favour.

How has patriarchy hurt you?

Narrowed my options. It also creates an environment where the expectation of being a breadwinner is huge; even with a wife who doesn’t want that from me I find myself trying to live to that ideal.

How have you hurt people in a way influenced by patriachy?

I try to avoid it but it’s insidious. We are trained to have certain expectations of genders; those manifest in bitchy remarks and ideas about the appropriateness of some roles for people.

How would you define masculinity?

A good man is physically and emotionally strong, compassionate to the people around him and comfortably leads the people around him to better things.

Does misandry exist?

No

Have you experienced gender and/or sex related prejudice?

Only in a way that has advantaged me

What best describes you?

A feminist

A very flawed feminist

Respondent 889

Does patriarchy exist?

Yes

How would you define patriarchy?

Patriarchy describes how in our culture, men receive many–sometimes overt and sometimes subtle–advantages. It covers everything from how men have to worry less about how they present themselves publically (dress, behavior, etc), to how women have to worry about “unsafe” (i.e., rapey) social situations way more than men. Even little shit, like how men are acculturated to ask for things or even demand them, whereas women are acculturated to say yes to everything. Oh, also, women are so underrepresented in media of all kinds, that a man can only consume other art made by other men literally without even trying–many men have to go out of their way to consume art made by women–whereas if you only read books by women, not only would it be hard to do, but people on the internet would call you a white knight or a psycho bitch and send you death threats.

How has patriarchy hurt you?

Not a lot! It’s been pretty good to me, honestly. I’ve had some situations where I probably bulldozed around and made people feel shitty without meaning to, and I felt bad about it afterwards, but that’s about it.

How have you hurt people in a way influenced by patriachy?

Nothing completely heinous, thank god. I’ve probably voiced some stupid ideas about cat calling or whatever that annoyed the hell out of women in the room, but later I amended those opinions. Nothing really stupid about how women should take a compliment and lighten up or whatever, just not realizing the gravity of the situation. I had at least one relationship disintegrate because my partner was terrible at saying no–not regarding sex so much as regarding anything–and I just turned into an obtuse slob without even realizing it. Get an inch take a mile kind of thing.

How would you define masculinity?

It’s a construction; it’s a performance. It’s a performance I like, by the way. I like to act masculine, a lot of parts of it feel “natural” or comfortable to me, but it’s all aesthetic. I don’t think it’s a standard other men should be required to uphold.

Does misandry exist?

No

I’m sure there are women who hate men, but beyond one time where a woman came up and yelled at me at a bar for no reason, I really don’t see the social or political consequences of this.

Have you experienced gender and/or sex related prejudice?

Only in a way that has advantaged me

What best describes you?

I don’t like the rhetoric of people being allies, because a lot of the time it turns into pissing contests on the internet over who is a good ally and who is a false ally and I find that creepy. I also find the “anybody who supports women is a feminist” line to be kind of imprecise in a way that bugs me, because feminism is such a big thing and there are definitely versions of it that I don’t identify with. But if this were just a conversation and I knew nobody wanted to hear some stupid semantic blah because we were actually talking about a specific, important thing? I would call myself a feminist or ally without losing sleep, yeah.

Respondent 865

Does patriarchy exist?

Yes

How would you define patriarchy?

Respondent skipped question

How has patriarchy hurt you?

Respondent skipped question

How have you hurt people in a way influenced by patriachy?

Respondent skipped question

How would you define masculinity?

Respondent skipped question

Does misandry exist?

No

Have you experienced gender and/or sex related prejudice?

Yes

What best describes you?

A feminist

Respondent 864

Does patriarchy exist?

Yes

How would you define patriarchy?

Society shaped to benefit men and to subjugate women

How has patriarchy hurt you?

I hate injustice and living amid privileged men who don’t care or even notice their privilege sickening

How have you hurt people in a way influenced by patriachy?

people have responded to me more favourably because I am a man countless times. I haven’t always had the ability or courage or strength to challenge that effectively

How would you define masculinity?

it evokes cliched images of muscular arrogance to me. The differences between men and women exaggerated, codifying roles within patriarchy, so all negative.

Does misandry exist?

No

It’s mostly made up to press for continuing privilege

Have you experienced gender and/or sex related prejudice?

Only in a way that has advantaged me

What best describes you?

An ally to feminism

Respondent 862

Does patriarchy exist?

Yes

How would you define patriarchy?

Systematic benefits for being a man, whilst females suffer for simply being women

How has patriarchy hurt you?

Probably an inability to express my emotions. Tend to bottle things up.

How have you hurt people in a way influenced by patriachy?

I try not to. I would say slagging a homosexual boy in high school because he was gay. Looking back I regret that one.

How would you define masculinity?

Probably in the stereotypical terms: confident, tough, assertive, strong

Does misandry exist?

No

I don’t doubt hatred of men exists but no systematic oppression exists

Have you experienced gender and/or sex related prejudice?

No

What best describes you?

A feminist

Respondent 860

Does patriarchy exist?

Yes

How would you define patriarchy?

A system, culture, or economy where males have the upper hand.

How has patriarchy hurt you?

It hasn’t. I’m a guy.

How have you hurt people in a way influenced by patriachy?

I don’t know. By having a penis?

How would you define masculinity?

Being yourself.

Does misandry exist?

No

What is perceived as misandry (eg., not being “man enough” to do/be something, expressing emotions, being sexually harrassed, etc.) are directly related to the perception of that particular man as “feminine”. That’s misoginy.

Have you experienced gender and/or sex related prejudice?

No

Not that I can think of, either way.

What best describes you?

An ally to feminism

Respondent 859

Does patriarchy exist?

Yes

How would you define patriarchy?

The primacy of male experiences over those of other genders.

How has patriarchy hurt you?

As an asexual cis man, I have been presumed to be interested in seeking women, and seen as lesser for not succeeding or even trying.

How have you hurt people in a way influenced by patriachy?

I don’t doubt that I have, probably in ways more subtle and numerous than I can imagine. My inadvertent gaze at women, particularly thin women at times where my disordered eating has manifested as thin ideation, could undoubtedly have been seen as predatory at times. I may also have been hired over a superior candidate of another gender, which whilst not directly my fault would hurt someone and be an unfair consequence of patriarchy.

How would you define masculinity?

Patterns of appearance, behaviour, etc. associated with being male.

Does misandry exist?

No

Have you experienced gender and/or sex related prejudice?

Yes

Primarily in the context of deviation from masculinity tropes.

What best describes you?

A feminist