Respondent 966

Does patriarchy exist?

Yes

How would you define patriarchy?

a system that privileges men over women

How has patriarchy hurt you?

how hasn’t it. I’m a fat disabled queer intersex trans man.

How have you hurt people in a way influenced by patriachy?

when I was a teenager, I tried to be a “real man” in such a way that it was bad for all my relationships – romantic, familial, friends, all of them. I tried to be “right” all the time, to be “strong” all the time, to be infallible. I expended so much energy lashing out because I had been hurt in so many ways and I didn’t know how else to deal with it but to try and control everything I could, because maybe if I could then the world would stop hurting me. Of course, it doesn’t work that way, and no one is infallible – but especially no teenager is. I was lucky – I grew out of this before I hit adulthood. but it happened.

How would you define masculinity?

a tricky question. it’s a feeling mostly, I think. but like almost every gender feeling, like colours, we will never know if it feels the same to others that it does to us. it is also a physical expression I think, hair and sharp lines, beer and exertion, gruffness and protectiveness.

Does misandry exist?

Yes

I don’t think misandry exists in a systemic way, that’s ridiculous. but my mother threatened to kill me when I told her I was a man, because “men are worthless”, so I cannot say that it does not exist on a smaller scale.

Have you experienced gender and/or sex related prejudice?

Yes

What best describes you?

A feminist

I know some people think a man can’t be a feminist because he hasn’t lived as a woman. But I have lived as a woman, so if that is the only problem, it is cis centric and false.