Man Links #23: articles exploring issues around #Mansurvey

On Wednesdays I share articles and other links that I’ve come across over the last week, which touch on issues that crossover with the #ManSurvey.

(If these aren’t enough links for for you here are the previous posts including the Further Reading List for the show.)

Please be aware of a general content note: some of these links touch on sexual assault, rape, war, prejudice, suicide, violence and other aspects of patriarchy:

Notes towards a theory of The Manarchist by Ray Filer in Strike!

What I would have said to you last night had you not cum and then fallen asleep by Reina Gattuso on Feministing

It’s Time For People to Stop Using the Social Construct of “Biological Sex” to Defend Their Transmisogyny by Mey on Autostraddle 

Trans Inquiry – A Little Backlash by Cheryl Morgan on her website

They Pretend To Be Us While Pretending We Don’t Exist by Jenny Zhang on Buzzfeed

He Called Her a Slut. He Got Fired by Tauriq Moosa on The Daily Beast

On Thursday 18th February at The Dogstar in Brixton I’ll be performing the live show as a double bill with Njambi McGrath at Stand Up Tragedy Presents.

Guest blog posts and analysis of the survey are still very welcome. And please do get in touch if you use the #ManSurvey as research, as reference, as teaching material or in any other way,  I am really happy to signal boost and link to what you are doing.

Man Links #22: articles exploring issues around #Mansurvey

On Wednesdays I share articles and other links that I’ve come across over the last week, which touch on issues that crossover with the #ManSurvey.

(If these aren’t enough links for for you here are the previous posts including the Further Reading List for the show.)

Please be aware of a general content note: some of these links touch on sexual assault, rape, war, prejudice, suicide, violence and other aspects of patriarchy:

The hypocrisy of Jaden Smith’s critics by Stephanie Farnsworth on The Queerness

Jaden Smith’s Louis Vuitton ad & gender norms by Janet Mock on So POPular!

fashion victims: in the fitting rooms with trans femmes by Sean Faye on Dazed

How to deal with the New Year’s Eve sexual assaults in Cologne and Hamburg by Musa Okwonga in The New Statesman

Bill Cosby and His Enablers by Ta-Nehisi Coates in The Atlantic

David Bowie: Time to Mourn of Call Out? by Aida Manduley on her website

 

On Thursday 18th February at The Dogstar in Brixton I’ll be performing the live show as a double bill with Njambi McGrath at Stand Up Tragedy Presents

Guest blog posts and analysis of the survey are still very welcome. And please do get in touch if you use the #ManSurvey as research, as reference, as teaching material or in any other way,  I am really happy to signal boost and link to what you are doing.

Man Links #21: articles exploring issues around #Mansurvey

On Wednesdays I share articles and other links that I’ve come across over the last week, which touch on issues that crossover with the #ManSurvey. This week the links are ones I’ve come across over the holiday season as I took two week’s off(!)

(If these aren’t enough links for for you here are the previous posts including the Further Reading List for the show.)

Please be aware of a general content note: some of these links touch on sexual assault, rape, war, prejudice, suicide, violence and other aspects of patriarchy:

In defense of bad sex by Charlotte Shane on Fusion

Sex, pleasure, and empowerment: Why ‘thou shalt orgasm’ is a flawed commandment by Joni Meenagh in Archer Magazine

I Love Being Asked About My Sexual Desires—But I Just Can’t Answer by Katie Klabusich on The Establishment

Men Explain Lolita To Me by Rebecca Solnit on Literary Hub

5 Troubling Facts About Male Rape Survivors by Cristen Conger on Everyday Feminism

21 Of The Greatest Examples Of Fragile Masculinity In 2015 by Luke Bailey on Buzzfeed

A Unbelievable Story of Rape by T. Christian Miller, ProPublica and Ken Armstrong, The Marshall Project

Will Franken — Only A Tourist Can Afford To Be Bored With ‘Transgenderism’ by AJ McKenna on Clarissa Explains Fuck All

Scientists discover ‘genderfluid’ lioness who looks, acts and roars like a male by Joe Williams in Pink News

The Debt: When terrible, abusive parents come crawling back, what do their grown children owe them? by Emily Yoffe on Slate
Sexism on the Fringe: Gathering some thoughts by Cameryn Moore on her website

 

On Thursday 18th February at The Dogstar in Brixton I’ll be performing the live show as a double bill with Njambi McGrath at Stand Up Tragedy Presents

Guest blog posts and analysis of the survey are still very welcome. And please do get in touch if you use the #ManSurvey as research, as reference, as teaching material or in any other way,  I am really happy to signal boost and link to what you are doing.

Man Links #20: articles exploring issues around #Mansurvey

On Wednesdays I’m sharing articles and other links that I’ve come across over the last week, which touch on issues that crossover with the #ManSurvey. It’ll be two weeks before the next one of these as I’m taking 2 weeks off.

(If these aren’t enough links for for you here are the previous posts including the Further Reading List for the show.)

Please be aware of a general content note: some of these links touch on sexual assault, rape, war, prejudice, suicide, violence and other aspects of patriarchy:

IX Lives by Melissa Gira Grant on Book Forum

Love Is A Battlefield by Louise Fazackerley on Nymphs & Thugs

The #DearDaddy video might tackle one aspect of rape culture, but it perpetuates another by Emma Boyle on Gadgette

“You’re Hurting Her!” A Story of Consent in the Santa Line by The Consent Crew

what you still don’t understand about being trans by Hari Nef on I-D

How Stoya took on James Deen and broke the porn industry’s silence by Melissa Gira Grant in The Guardian

Little Atoms 400 – Juliet Jacques

 

On Thursday 18th February at The Dogstar in Brixton I’ll be performing the live show as a double bill with Njambi McGrath at Stand Up Tragedy Presents

Guest blog posts and analysis of the survey are still very welcome. And please do get in touch if you use the #ManSurvey as research, as reference, as teaching material or in any other way,  I am really happy to signal boost and link to what you are doing.

Man Links #19: articles exploring issues around #Mansurvey

On Wednesdays I’m sharing articles and other links that I’ve come across over the last week, which touch on issues that crossover with the #ManSurvey.

(If these aren’t enough links for for you here are the previous posts including the Further Reading List for the show.)

Please be aware of a general content note: some of these links touch on sexual assault, rape, war, prejudice, suicide, violence and other aspects of patriarchy:

“But I thought he was a nice guy?!” by Girl on the Net on Girl on the Net

Why Do We Humanize White Guys Who Kill People by Rebecca Traister for The Cut in NY Mag

Sexism & Violence in the Neoliberal University by Alison Phipps on her blog

Men Look After Men: Sexism and Domestic Abuse In The Australian Comedy Community by Brydie Lee-Kennedy on SBS

How I Learned There’s More Than One Way To Have Gay Sex by Nico Lang on Buzzfeed

Saving us from penetration – ponderings from a trans rentboy (PDF) by Jet Young on The Graduate Journal of Social Science

The Guilty Feminist by Sofie Hagan for Standard Issue Magazine

Prison is a desperate place if you’re trans – I was lucky, others are in hell by Charlie Kiss in The Guardian

Scans prove there’s no such thing as a ‘male’ or ‘female’ brain by Jessica Hamzelou in New Scientist

AJ McKenna‘s spoken word album Howl of the Bantee recorded at Stand Up Tragedy Presents at the Dogstar Brixton on Nov 19th.

Guest blog posts and analysis of the survey are still very welcome. And please do get in touch if you use the #ManSurvey as research, as reference, as teaching material or in any other way,  I am really happy to signal boost and link to what you are doing.

Man Links #18: articles exploring issues around #Mansurvey

On Wednesdays I’m sharing articles and other links that I’ve come across over the last week, which touch on issues that crossover with the #ManSurvey.

(If these aren’t enough links for for you here are the previous posts including the Further Reading List for the show.)

Please be aware of a general content note: some of these links touch on sexual assault, rape, war, prejudice, suicide, violence and other aspects of patriarchy:

This thread on Toxic masculinity by @absurdistwords

When Feminism Is a Brand by Kitty Stryker on Medium

James Deen Was Never a Feminist Idol by Amanda Hess on Slate

Spike Lee is completely wrong about rape by Lyndsay Kirkham on The Daily Dot

A welcome blow to the myth of distinct male and female brains by Gina Rippon in New Scientist

Men are from Mars, women are from Venus? New brain study says not by Ian Sample in The Guardian

Comment: Safe spaces don’t limit free speech – they give it to the marginalised by Abi Wilkinson on politics.co.uk

Deeyah Khan: What IS do is like grooming – they prey on guilt, loneliness and anger an interview with Deeyah Khan by Rosamund Urwin in The Evening Standard

Trans™: how the trans movement got sold out by Ray Filar on Open Democracy

 

Museling 7: Privilege by Charles Adrian (all the episodes of his Muselings podcast have resonances with the show and survey.)

The first two performances included in the most recent Stand Up Tragedy podcast Tragic Fall.

The phrase “Male Feminist” has come up a lot this week (a phrase I don’t support, personally after years of querying whether men can be feminists I was persuaded by feminists to define myself as a feminist but I see the connection of the word male to the word feminist to be both unnecessary and suspicious.) When looking into where and when this phrase was coined I began thinking about the history of men thinking about dismantling patriarchy. These pages on wikipedia were very interesting Men and Feminism, Men’s Liberation, Pro-Feminism. I didn’t however find the origin of “Male Feminist”, and if anyone has any links to something on that I’d be very interested in reading them.

Guest blog posts and analysis of the survey are still very welcome. And please do get in touch if you use the #ManSurvey as research, as reference, as teaching material or in any other way,  I am really happy to signal boost and link to what you are doing.

Man Links #17: articles exploring issues around #Mansurvey

On Wednesdays I’m sharing articles and other links that I’ve come across over the last week, which touch on issues that crossover with the #ManSurvey.

(If these aren’t enough links for for you here are the previous posts including the Further Reading List for the show.)

Please be aware of a general content note: some of these links touch on sexual assault, rape, war, prejudice, suicide, violence and other aspects of patriarchy:

Liberation: a response to International Men’s Day by me on this blog.

International Men’s Day: What are we celebrating? by Shane Thomas on Media Diversified

Man up or grow a pair by D H Kelly on The F Word

Will It Ever Be Masculine to Say You Have Mental Health Issues? by Aaron Gillies on The Huffington Post

About a boy and a doll by The Guyliner on his website

Fallen Fathers by Robert Kazandjian on Media Diversified

Life as a drone operator: ‘Ever step on ants and never give it another thought?’ by Ed Pilkington in The Guardian

On Germaine Greer and the Hypocrisy of the ‘Left’ by Paris Lees on Vice

Remembering the fallen this Transgender Day of Remembrance by Holly Brockwell and AJ McKenna

This thread about prisons by @maneatincyborg

The political case for caring inside the academy by Aliya Yule on Media Diversified

The Seduction of Safety, on Campus and Beyond by Roxane Gay in The New York Times

Museling 6: Suicide by Charles Adrian (all the episodes of his Muselings podcast have resonances with the show and survey.)

Guest blog posts and analysis of the survey are still very welcome. And please do get in touch if you use the #ManSurvey as research, as reference, as teaching material or in any other way,  I am really happy to signal boost and link to what you are doing.

Man Links #16: articles exploring issues around #Mansurvey

On Wednesdays I’m sharing articles and other links that I’ve come across over the last week, which touch on issues that crossover with the #ManSurvey.

(If these aren’t enough links for for you here are the previous posts including the Further Reading List for the show.)

Please be aware of a general content note: some of these links touch on sexual assault, rape, prejudice, suicide, violence and other aspects of patriarchy:

You can see the #ManSurvey show tomorrow in a double bill with AJ McKenna‘s Howl of the Bantee. The night is called Stand Up Tragedy Presents… and is happening at The Dogstar, in Brixton. It’s free entry with donations gladly accepted based on what you think the shows are worth and what you can afford. This is scheduled (accidentally) to happen on International Men’s Day which is on the 19th November. Here are my thoughts on that.

The harm of gender stereotypes: Nail polish and the fragility of masculinity by Aram Hosie in Archer Magazine

On Gawker’s Problem With Women by Dayna Evans on Medium

Gamergate Supporters Are Responsible for the Terrorist Photoshopping of Journalist Veerender Jubbal by Rich Stanton on Vice

The Making of a ‘Terrorist’: Sikh From Toronto Was Framed for the Paris Attacks By GamerGate Trolls by Arthur Chu on The Daily Beast

Transitioning Into A Decolonised Masculinity by Decolonized Scientist on his website Decolonize ALL The Things

Origins by Fay Roberts on her blog (This blog post has lots of resonances with the show particularly.)

Also the amazing Jack Rooke‘s show Good Grief is coming to the Soho Theatre in London in December which is about issues that are very much present in both the survey responses and the show. It’s also funny and moving.

Guest blog posts and analysis of the survey are still very welcome. And please do get in touch if you use the #ManSurvey as research, as reference, as teaching material or in any other way,  I am really happy to signal boost and link to what you are doing.

Liberation: a response to #InternationalMensDay

International Men’s Day is coming up on the 19th of November. I have some sympathy with the idea of talking about men’s issues, but I also have a lot of sympathy with the idea that every day is International Men’s Day. When people say that, they’re getting at the fact that every day we exist in a patriarchal system; every day is a day when men are privileged; every day is a day when men are positioned differently to other genders within the system that surrounds us all.

It is very rare that we talk about how patriarchy (and other intersecting power structures) harms men or about how men (and all people) are conditioned to sustain and reproduce patriarchy. I wish every day was focused around trying to push back against this system, and as a tactic, I can see how International Men’s Day, like International Women’s Day and other days that highlight untalked-about histories and issues, could be a useful thing.

The problem is that most of the men I see advocating for IMD are not advocating for causes or behaviour that I think actually help combat men’s issues which include our high suicide rate, being conditioned not to express emotions, the lack of awareness of the sexual assault, rape and domestic violence that men experience. Some people and organisations are doing that, and those actions should be championed and applauded. But generally they aren’t the loudest voices, partly because they aren’t amplified in the media, and partly because there are a lot of other people talking loudly.

Sadly, those loud voices are built into International Men’s Day, at least in the UK where we see Glen Poole, who is its UK coordinator, write this awful article in the telegraph, clearly positioning himself in a way that doesn’t help men at all and insisting on reinforcing narratives around “being a man” and around gender being both a binary and a competition. This quote provides a flavour of how confused the article is:

But it’s not a “macho culture” that prevents men from “speaking out”; it’s a culture that isn’t yet “man enough” to listen and respond to men’s needs.

On the other side of this, people who question the need for the day or who wish to critique the power structures that we live in are bombarded and abused online. The people doing this are mostly men, and they could turn their energies to deconstructing the world and actually making things better for men (and for everyone).

Let’s look at another IMD advocate, Tory MP Philip Davies, who called for Parliament to debate men’s issues on IMD, a call which has now been scheduled to take place. Davies is against equal marriage, which means he is actively contributing to the oppression of gay, bisexual and trans men. His party is implementing policies that actively harm poor men, disabled men, current and ex servicemen, migrant men, refugee men, men of colour, young men… the list goes on. It’s not just men; his party harms boys too, arguably much more so, as children have much less power than men.

At the same time as he is advocating talking about the issues experienced by some men, he plays down or ignores issues that affect the other genders. His government generally hurts people who aren’t men much more than it hurts men. Just as women and feminists need to be wary of who is fighting and how to fight for women’s rights and liberation, men need to ask ourselves if the people representing our issues are actually on our side. Just as women can make policies that hurt women, I would argue that many policies made by men hurt men.

Davies is a man intimately entwined in the patriarchal system and in the kyriarchy that surrounds it. He is a man who used his power to actively attack carers (who are mostly women and are mostly badly paid). His party directly contributes to the pressures that cause men’s suicides. He is not the man men need representing them. He’s asking to talk about men’s issues in order to push for a return to a more straightforward time when men ignored patriarchy. However, men who don’t fit with prescribed models of masculinity and gender have never been able to ignore the effects of patriarchy. The men who can do that are the wealthy white ones who have massive structural privilege over pretty much everyone. No wonder they want to return to simpler times.

I think it’s impossible to combat the issues that hurt men without combating patriarchy.

Over the last year, I have been making a show about being a man. The show uses the lens of my childhood and adolescence to look at how patriarchy hurts men and how men hurt people as a result of patriarchy. It is a mix of true storytelling and TED Talk. This is a guest post I wrote for Girl on the Net about the survey that I set up as research for the show. I performed this show 23 times at the Edinburgh Festival this year, and it produced some amazing responses from people of all genders, including these ones.

One of the conclusions that I come to in my show is that we need a Men’s Wrongs and Men’s Rights movement: a movement looking to rid ourselves of the unfair advantages and powers we have, even as we fight for rights in areas where we are denied them. It would be a movement that doesn’t see things as a competition: there’s no need to dismiss the reality of violence against women in order to talk about violence against men.

Men are often not given equal rights to their children, but many men also abandon their children or provide them little emotional or material support. UK law doesn’t acknowledge that people with vaginas can rape people; that needs to be changed but it doesn’t invalidate the fact that we have a rape culture that encourages people with penises to rape.  We need to look at the totality of these issues.

The Men’s Rights Movement as it is doesn’t look at these issues fully and doesn’t work to improve the lives of men, although it does tend to contribute to making women’s lives worse. In most cases it isn’t rights men need, as men as a group have many rights others still lack. What men need is liberation.

Patriarchy makes men into its weapons. We are pushed into the army. We fill its prisons. We are used as tools of industry, and we are discarded when industries move on. Patriarchy doesn’t just treat women like objects. Patriarchy treats all people like objects except for those at the top. It hates us so much it says we shouldn’t cry. It poisons our ability to interact with fellow humans by forcing us into hierarchies of power and status. It doesn’t want us to see our children.

We need to attack our own power/privilege as well as fighting against how patriarchy hurts us. It is not a competition. That’s the emphasis I wish we saw on IMD. Instead, it tends to be  a day when the men who benefit the most from patriarchy, and who are uninterested in challenging it, make so much noise that the issues that really hurt men are drowned out in the bluster.

In the spirit of this, I’ll be performing my solo show What About the Men? Mansplaining Masculinity on Thursday as part of a double bill of patriarchy-challenging performances. Doors open at 7:30pm at the Dogstar in Brixton. Entrance is free, but if you can afford to support the shows, we would really value voluntary donations as you leave.

 

Man Links #15: articles exploring issues around #Mansurvey

On Wednesdays I’m sharing articles and other links that I’ve come across over the last week, which touch on issues that crossover with the #ManSurvey.

(If these aren’t enough links for for you here are the previous posts including the Further Reading List for the show.)

Please be aware of a general content note: some of these links touch on sexual assault, rape, prejudice, suicide, violence and other aspects of patriarchy:

Letters to My Brother (or: How to Live in a Country That Requires Your Destruction) by Brian Alsup and Kiese Laymon on Gawker

Is there anything worse than a man who cries? by Eva Wiseman in The Guardian (I think this an excellent piece of satire making important, empathetic points about masculinity but others haven’t read it this way.)

(UK) Numbers in low pay on The Poverty Site, this and many other links and tweets worth reading can be found on the #EqualPayDay hashtag.

Remembrance Day: Why the Cenotaph has become the dark heart of British militarism by Joe Glenton in International Business Times

Saving Tim Hunt: The campaign to exonerate Tim Hunt for his sexist remarks in Seoul is built on myths, misinformation, and spin by Paula Higgins and Dan Waddell on Medium

The current episode of the Stand Up Tragedy podcast, Tragic Autumn Act 2: Tragic Schooling contains lots of stuff that is very relevant to issues in and around the #ManSurvey.

And it isn’t long till International Men’s Day which is on the 19th November. Here are my thoughts on that. Believe it or not that day also happens to be when I’m next doing the #ManSurvey show, this scheduling wasn’t deliberate but it is apt because between the #ManSurvey show and AJ McKenna‘s Howl of the Bantee both the terrible things that happen to men, and the terrible things that men do, will be covered in full. The night is called Stand Up Tragedy Presents… and is happening at The Dogstar, in Brixton. It’s free entry with donations gladly accepted based on what you think the shows are worth and what you can afford.

Guest blog posts and analysis of the survey are still very welcome. And please do get in touch if you use the #ManSurvey as research, as reference, as teaching material or in any other way,  I am really happy to signal boost and link to what you are doing.